My husband and I are having guests over tonight to discus how we can best help our son with autism. It’s a powwow, so to speak, of people who have, are, and possibly will be in regular contact with him. I made sure to bribe them all with the incentive of being fed, so off to the store I go. On my way out, I see this young (I’m thinking 20) cute couple walking in. She has on a beautiful cherry red pea coat and he is dressed in a nice pants and shirt. I think how cute they are, while I look like a nominee for the show ‘What Not To Wear’ with my hair quickly pulled up, in my jeans that have bleach stains from dishwasher liquid that I’m trying to pass of as intentionally designed, oversized sweatshirt with baby goo of some sort, and my Toms shoes. And without thinking too much about it, trying to be slightly in their earshot, I audibly say to my baby, “Mommy used to look like that once.”
Wow! When did this happen? 15 years ago, I never imagined I’d be excited over new appliances, yoga pants, and scoring a great deal on chicken breasts at $1.99. Yes ladies, I said $1.99. Try not to be too jealous…I’m just that good;) (much sarcasm intended). I used to work out religiously so I wouldn’t get a pound or two fatter, because heaven forbid I let myself go. Now, 10 months after my third child was born, I still have the 30+ pounds that I gained during the pregnancy left on my body, without the immediate promise of being released.
I love my life…in general. It’s incredibly hard to parent Taylor sometimes, and the kids, finances, and relational issues that sometimes happen wear me down. That’s just life, and I think in a very general aspect, everyone experiences the same list of issues in some way or another. But, I love being a mom, driving a minivan, and belonging to a community of some fantastic women and friends who are in their own domestic trenches.
I don’t always think I love being a mom. Sometimes I wish I could take a break. It’s hard, which at times is an understatement. But, I know this is where I belong. No matter how hard it can get, my soul knows I belong here.
The fact is, we stay at home moms are cute too. Yes, even scrubbing toilets in yoga pants. When we go out in the world with our children trailing behind us, there is an unexplainable honor and pride we feel in showing the world we are a mom. We carried them, birthed them, nurtured them, bathed them, and clothed them. We sign them up for dance and sports, and attend the practices and attend the games. We clean up dirt, grime, and food goo off the floor. We work hard.
Some have adopted their children, and in my mind, that is just as challenging a journey as any pregnancy I know I have had. I have some friends who are adopting or have adopted, and their stories are amazing. Please visit their blogs at Unto Adoption and Africa to America. You will be glad you did!
We may not be cute in the way of a twenty year old, but we have the beauty and honor of motherhood. Even so, I still can’t resist the urge to tell my kids, “I was once like that too, you know.”
As always, positive comments are welcome. Negative hurtful comments will be trashed before I can even finish reading them. I have many readers who are emotionally vulnerable, and I will not post comments that will further harm.
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